Setting yourself up for postpartum success
In the weeks leading up to childbirth, your provider will emphasize physical and mental preparation for labor and delivery. It’s also important to prepare for what to expect postpartum and for your new parenthood journey. Your world is about to change! It is normal to have a lot of feelings about how your new baby will impact your life and relationships.
It takes a village, even if it’s an unconventional one
Support is HUGE for postpartum success. “Think about who is willing to support you and your newborn. The phrase ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ doesn’t always look like we think it should,” said Sarah Rose Labine, DNP, CNM, Western OB/GYN, A Division of Ridgeview Clinics. “Your village can be a unique one. Time off for your partner may be short or nonexistent and you may not have family living nearby. This may be a time when you need to think outside the box — consider friends, neighbors or possibly hired help.”
“When you become a parent, you gain two new best friends — flexibility and creativity! Navigating the postpartum time will give you opportunities to lean into these two ‘pals,’” shared Labine. Think about who can support you as you welcome a new member to your family. Before your baby arrives, talk to them about different ways they may be able to support you — time, meals, household duties, errands, etc.
People, even acquaintances, are often eager to help when you welcome a new baby, but they don’t always know how. When people say to you “call me if you need anything, I’d be happy to help,” write their name down. Asking for and accepting help does not make you a less capable parent.
Attending to needs within your relationships
Having a baby can place stress on relationships. Your focus pivots to keeping the baby fed, changed and cared for. “As you begin the third trimester of pregnancy, NOW is a wonderful opportunity to work through and prepare yourself and your relationships for new parenthood,” said Labine. “Allowing space to focus attention on the birthing parent, the non-birthing parent, the couple, and the family will allow for balance in caring for the new baby.” Preparation and practicing this now will help hold this space for when you’re adjusting to baby’s arrival.
“After the baby arrives, you may feel like you forgot how to have fun. Life with a newborn can be a grind, but you should continue to enjoy things that brought you happiness prior to the baby's arrival. Think about some of the simple joys that you can incorporate into the early days of postpartum,” shared Labine. These can be simple things like having a favorite coffee/tea on hand, scheduling weekly chats with a caring friend or creating a playlist of your favorite music.
Caring for a newborn will likely amplify any communication challenges you may already have in your relationships. “Many parents struggle with keeping a ‘diaper count’ — arguing about who does more parenting or housekeeping. This can brew resentment, however, preparing and allocating these household and baby care tasks before the baby arrives can help you set expectations," said Labine. Talk about and explore stressors that exist in your relationships and ask for help from trusted friends, family or a therapist to help plan ways to work through those and find solutions.
Labine encourages mom and partner or support person to consider date moments over date nights. “Honestly, after the baby arrives, anything that competes with getting enough sleep is destined to fall short, including what’s often referred to as date night. Having moments to connect and focus on your relationship is so important,” explained Labine. “Instead of forgoing them altogether, consider shifting to intentional ‘date or connection moments’ such as going for a walk together, back massages, lunch dates, or watching a movie together at home. These intentional moments together will help strengthen and recharge your relationship.”
Preparation, flexibility and grace
“Preparation is key to a smoother transition into parenthood, and as it goes, space for flexibility — and grace — will go a long way,” said Labine. Ridgeview offers online education for Postpartum Care, which focuses on physical and mental health, emotional challenges and changes, and caring for yourself in the 12 weeks following the birth of your baby. It is also important to be aware of warning signs and symptoms of postpartum depression and mood disorders. Talk to your health care provider or one at Western, OB/GYN, A Division of Ridgeview Clinics, if you have concerns.
